09.13.08
postures
gathering
on
the
floor
we have come to the mats
sitting
waiting
stretching
breathing
talking
laughing
one man,
terrified..first time?..someone asks
she is late
I close my eyes
and
bring my knees to my chest
and
exhale..
I rushed to get here
and now she is late
feeling a twinge..frustration rising in my kundalini
breathless
breath
breathing..and ..at ..last..
..the familiar recessing of strain
it is lovely to lay here
only breathing…only peace
in almost darkness, a candle burns and glows
in the near distance
..gossip
..it never stops
I sit up now restless
I debate leaving..where is she?..some one tells the air
volumes of voices like birds at dusk
the door flies open
she arrives
quiet grace
no apologies..no explanations
like school kids
we bolt up straight in pretend lotus
the candle flickers and dies
class begins
09.12.08
the immigrant
lost…
in
a
candied swirl
of
city lights..
and confusion
immobilized in concrete…in commercialism
he traffics on
searching
pondering
an
image
of
intimacy
happiness..a home cooked meal
the perfect girl
realism
and
regrets
of things left unsaid..left undone
and fear..inflating…fear..blowing up in the pit of his belly
gnawing at him…fear..what has he done..
why did he come here..
searching
for work…money..sex..a new kind of religion..
people pass..
different and the same
mobiles light the night like stars
the beat
of his footsteps
thunder on to the choir
of
lonely drummers.
08.28.08
sonata
rustling leaves
picture postcard of autumn
daily living and breathing
was a destiny
I did not foresee
your eyes
iris treasures
conflicting
clay
without
a
word
everything said
with no conclusion
tomorrow will be settled
maybe not
08.19.08
this morning
I wake up
it is 6am
the traffic noise is unbearable
but I no longer hear it
I go to the bathroom
1 & 2, dooby doo
I shower
I brush my teeth
I notice a grey hair and contemplate
a makeover
in the kitchen
I drink a lot of hot water with lemon
turn the TV on
and the laptop
and the radio
charge the mobile
look over at him
he’s still asleep
it’s 7 am
I shake him
wake up honey ! cheerily I chirp
inaudible
I stare at him..for..a ..long….time
wake up honey, it’s 7:15
wake up honey, it’s 7:25 !
uh huh, okay
get up dear, it’s 7:35
mm mm…hhh
WAKE…UP…IT’S 7:45…PLEASE…GOD…PLEASE…YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE!!!
WHAT!!…EXPLETIVE DELETE…WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME SOONER?!
he goes to the loo
I set the table
make his coffee, 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar
stare at the TV screen
” the world’s a shitty place “
uh huh
did you hear what I just said ?
honey, I love you
I love you too
it’s early
I know
he shaves…puts his suit on
I pack his lunch, add some fruit
do you have your wallet, your keys, your phone ?
uh huh
he leans down to kiss me
” sweetie, you really need to relax more “
I shut the door.
angel
light’s transition
and you
have restored a life understanding
motionless
emotions
I watch
him to her
her to him
dicta phones in mammal form
you
are
different
breathtakingly sensitive
a lovely creation
you fondle with care
terrified of not succeeding
your fears
are unfounded
I am no different than you
no one
is better in love
or wiser
til yesterday
I did not understand
yet today I am a teacher
a wiser woman
no longer a novice
you have placed this knowledge in me
for this
I will always be grateful
you
are
an
angel
cast as a man
protecting this nestling
from
night crawlers
fears
and black masked strangers
wanting
to
fly
I fold into your wings
08.18.08
you didn’t come
If you want to know
I am happy now
my life is settled
with him
that night I waited for you
said
you would come
for me
later
I waited
waited
my insides
filled with the bitter,
bitter
pill of obsession
of yearning
the conviction that I was in love with you
addicted
to
the pain
addicted
to the wait
night
draws
in
I think of you now
as I did
that night
searching for stars
settling for the moon
beams
in
the
dark
that never appeared
were you ever really there?
or was it all a hazy melodrama
that I borrowed
from a storybook romance
did we even
walk side by side
sit in fancy diners
share whispers
share the night
or
did I simply fail to wake up
that night
when you didn’t come
08.06.08
Romance
the length of your arm
shimmers
stars
explode
everywhere
crickets slamming
crescendo of voices
a tiny sparrow on my knee
I am mesmerised
stillness,
quiet, quiet
peaceful
quiet
and then
your heartbeat
closes
in
your arm reaches
sinewy
beautiful
glorious
sonnet like
a
tinkle
of
rain
I am breathless
08.04.08
london
mornings
in the city
lush with sound
shadows swirl
the cobbles
quickly
before it’s too late
before
we miss it all
08.01.08
this child
this child
this tiny child
she hears sweetness
she sings songs
clapping her little hands
in carefree abandon
she dreams of heaven
and candy canes
and she cries
for baby seals
and wonders
and she cries
for broken toys
and wonders
and she cries
for all bad men
and bumps in the night
and she listens
closer
she listens
wonders cease .
07.23.08
the vesper
Lord ,
help him
for he needs you
this man of strength
and of weakness
he is by himself
alone
he would ask
but he’s asked
so many times
where were you ?
Lord
when he crumbled
when his arms opened
only to close
in shameful despair
